


I Have Died Every Day, Waiting For You (A Thousand Years)

by applepi47



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Romance, Bokuaka - Freeform, Character Death, Hurt, I'm Sorry, M/M, Not sure what they did to deserve this, Roses, a thousand years, probably some fluff at the beginning if that counts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:28:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26724430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/applepi47/pseuds/applepi47
Summary: Roses.He liked roses.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	I Have Died Every Day, Waiting For You (A Thousand Years)

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this one randomly a while ago and when I re-read it, I realised the potential it would have if I made it a fan fiction and BOOM
> 
> This was heavily inspired by Christina Perri's song, 'A Thousand Years'.

_Roses_.

He liked roses.

Preferably the red ones, but the white ones too.

Red, to compliment the way he got so fired up, the way his eyes lit up when talking about the sea, or the same colour as his lips, that he bit so softly when lost in thought.

White, for the way he sat there on the days he came early, calm like soft lapping waves, patiently waiting for him, for the way it contrasted his two-toned hair, and golden eyes, and for the everlasting promise that he’d be here tomorrow.

Akaashi’s heart paced at that thought; Bokuto will be here tomorrow; he’ll see him again, tomorrow.

Bokuto always came tomorrow, a silent promise. Obviously, Akaashi always came tomorrow too.

Bokuto looked as magnificent as the first time he saw him, Akaashi thought.

_The first time._

* * *

Akaashi was walking to the exact bus stop, ready for another drowning day.

School, homework, eat, sleep.

Of course, that included the dirty looks he got from complete strangers, and the loneliness that was bound to him like chains.

Same old, same old.

But that day, it was different.

Bokuto walked onto the bus, looking as bright as the sun, earphones hanging at his neck, blasting some type of calm classical music; the complete opposite of his wild demeanour.

The strangeness didn’t begin until he walked down the aisle and sat next to him.

He sat next to Akaashi.

Akaashi decided to brush it off as coincidence, there were no extra seats, maybe he didn’t want to stand up, and so this seat was the least resort. But this didn’t stop the cacophony Akaashi felt in his chest.

To make it worse, Bokuto turned to him, still grinning as bright as ever, offering an earphone.

Sitting there stunned, Akaashi turned down his offer, he refused to get any closer. He knew these things lead to more, but the end result is always the same: heartbreak.

Ignoring his refusal, Bokuto began talking, and _oh god_. He sounded like an angel brought down to earth. _That’s it_ , Akaashi thought. He must’ve gotten lost and fallen down from heaven to this pathetic excuse of a planet.

But no, he talked about human things.

How his day was, how he saw the most beautiful rose, how he fell asleep in class, how he’d be playing in a match soon, and how he’d be leaving this country one day, going to play against world star players one day.

Although trying to come across as uninterested, Akaashi listened intently, and though he may might not have realised it; Bokuto noticed.

Akaashi didn’t think about it during class, or on the way home, and it most definitely didn’t keep him up that night. He hoped that he’d never see him again, for his sake and for the other boy’s, he also tried to ignore the tiny piece of him that just couldn’t get enough of Bokuto.

So naturally, Akaashi subconsciously held his breath when boarding the bus the next day.

Frantically scanning the bus, all the seats were taken, and Bokuto, he wasn’t in any of them.

Akaashi sighed subconsciously, before he noticed something.

There, sitting in a bright red jumper waving at him, the boy sat.

Gesturing to the empty seat beside his, Akaashi walked over and sat, convincing himself that he sat there because it was the only seat left.

But he couldn't deny that his heart started pacing faster than a wild animal, when Bokuto mentioned that he’d saved the seat for him.

Akaashi didn’t tell him this though.

Once again, Bokuto begun talking, and once again his words were all jumbled. Talking about one topic and without finishing, jumping to another. The way he talked, it was as if the world, and everything in it fascinated him.

Like he couldn’t get enough of it. Always excited about everything.

Akaashi couldn’t really say the same for himself.

He knew how cruel the world truly was. How pathetic and repulsive the world really was. But of course, it’s all hidden behind curtains.

He wondered if Bokuto was like the rest, hiding behind the curtains. Or if he really was as innocent and pure as he seemed, blind to the tragedies, deserving so much more than to live in such world.

But that didn’t matter because when Bokuto was with him, Akaashi’s heart beat in his chest, showing him that he’s there; _alive_.

Bokuto brought colour to his life. When Akaashi was with him, time stood still.

* * *

Shortly, Bokuto became a certain significance in Akaashi’s life, always waiting for him, unlike the rest who ran off without him. Akaashi would always go to him every time too, finally being able to release the smile he had reserved for him.

Bokuto taught him how to smile.

Bokuto taught him how to love, despite being afraid.

Bokuto taught him how to be brave, erasing the doubt that had always held him down.

Akaashi liked to listen to him talk, it was soothing after a long day of the teacher’s droning voice, it helped drown out the other voices in the bus; it was also a change.

Being ignored all his life had become a norm for Akaashi, and then Bokuto came.

He talked to him, and he listened to him.

Akaashi had thought it dozens of times, but not once had he asked why he did that, Bokuto hadn’t mentioned it either.

* * *

As the season changed to fall, the leaves turned gold, the wind made an appearance, and Akaashi had learnt much about Bokuto.

He knew that Bokuto preferred summer, he knew that Bokuto liked his coffee bitter, he even knew that Bokuto had once set his science lab on fire.

Of course, this worked vice-versa too.

Bokuto knew that Akaashi clenched and unclenched his hands when he’s making a decision, he knew that Akaashi especially enjoyed poetry, he also knew that Akaashi had despised butterflies ever since one landed on his nose and he accidentally hit himself in the face when it fluttered it’s wings on his eyes.

* * *

Roses.

He liked roses.

Akaashi curses his terrible memory. Planning to finally give Bokuto a rose today, he forgot in the rush. As he boards the bus, he met Bokuto’s bright smile and silently noted to bring it tomorrow.

Tomorrow came, rose in hand, Akaashi had chosen the deepest red one he could find. He felt that this exact shade resembled his feelings for the boy.

Overpowering, addictive, and stole his breath at first sight.

* * *

Tomorrow came, but he didn’t.

Akaashi left the bus that day, chest full of emotions, but with an empty hand.

He’d left the rose there; abandoned.

Just like the silent promise Bokuto had broken. Shattered into more than a billion pieces, just like his heart.

* * *

The leaves fell, the sun hid, the snow came, but Bokuto didn’t.

Akaashi died, day after day, patiently waiting for him, each feeling like a thousand years.

He taught Akaashi to be brave, he taught Akaashi how to love, the least Akaashi could do was wait for him, right?

_What is waiting?_

Staying in anticipation for his return, but for _how long?_

Forever seemed like a long time, so if Akaashi was to describe how long he’d waited, he'd say forever, because it truly felt that way.

Weeks blended into months; he’d lost count of how long Bokuto been gone for.

Akaashi tried to convince himself that even after months of his disappearance that he wasn’t going to return, but that tiny voice still dragged him to the bus every day.

_What is the point of this?_

Why did he think, he was of significance to Bokuto, like Bokuto was to him? _Pathetic_.

Bokuto deserved so much better.

Someone that could show him how much he’s worth.

Someone that could make him smile.

Someone that wasn't Akaashi.

Maybe he’d gone to a better place, Akaashi thought.

The sea, perhaps.

Akaashi smiled at this thought, Bokuto loved the sea and though Akaashi never been there, he could vividly imagine it because of Bokuto’s descriptions.

Salt tinged wind, crystal clear water reflecting the blazing hot sun, and of course, other people, all smiling so wide, it made Akaashi’s mouth hurt just thinking about it.

His smile turned sour almost instantly.

He never deserved his, he shouldn’t miss Bokuto so much, let alone plead at nights just to see him one more time.

Just to see his angelic face, smell his sweet scent, just to hear his cheerful voice once more.

Just once more.

 _Please_.

* * *

So once more, Akaashi returned to the bus, rose in hand. If Bokuto’s not here today, he’d give up, and accept that he’s moved on, leaving Akaashi alone.

Boarding the bus, Akaashi stepped onto the familiar rubber flooring, hit by a wave of the fresh smell. The bus driver did this every year, and the start of his last school year was no different.

Desperately he scanned the packed bus, there weren't any empty seats; Bokuto wasn't here.

Akaashi was silly to think, to _hope_ that he’d be here.

That’s when his eye caught a familiar red jumper, moving his gaze to the person’s face, Akaashi’s eyes widened and his breath hitched.

There he sat, as bright as ever, chattering non-stop.

He’s here… Bokuto came.

Akaashi’s gaze landed on the occupied seat next to Bokuto’s. Trailing his eyes down, they landed on Bokuto’s hand, fingers intertwined with his. The male beside Bokuto beamed back at him, planting a quick peck on his lips.

Standing there in a state of shock.

Akaashi didn't realise the tears were flowing down his face, falling down to the bus floor.

Akaashi didn't realise that he had dropped the rose, which now lay lifeless beside his feet.

Akaashi also didn't realise that Bokuto’s gaze had flickered up to him, now gaping back as he bit his lip.

The only thing Akaashi felt was the numbness, the pain, and the crucial need to get away from everything. He couldn't take it anymore; the hurt was just too much.

Akaashi wanted it to end, for all this sadness to go away, but he knew that as long as he was in this world, he was cursed to never see a bright day.

 _“Why does this happen to me, what have I done to deserve this_?” He thought, knowing he’d never receive an answer.

Whipping around, Akaashi wiped his face with a sleeve, but the tears just kept coming, they wouldn't stop.

Jerking out of the bus, he didn't realise that he came out the wrong side and it all happened too fast.

_Cars._

_Horns._

_Brakes._

_Screams._

And _stillness._

The world went dark, and quiet, not that it made a difference, it’d always been that way for Akaashi.

The only thing he felt now was a lingering calmness.

Stifling an excruciating laugh, Akaashi thought, at least his wish was granted, he got to see Bokuto one last time, and Akaashi will soon finally reach a peaceful place.

This proved that he was correct, there was no way for him to be happy in that cruel failure of a world.

Akaashi didn't hear Bokuto screaming for him.

Akaashi didn't see the rose clenched in Bokuto’s hand.

Akaashi didn't even feel Bokuto, shaking his almost lifeless body.

Akaashi only smelled the once pacifying sweet scent, and smiled painfully.

Akaashi had died every day waiting for Bokuto to return, once more wouldn’t hurt, _right?_

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry? Not really sorry thoughhhh  
> IDK I realised that there is so much BokuAka angst and it wouldn't hurt if I add to it...


End file.
